Bed Bugs

     

     Bed Bugs! One word....EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! I don't have bed bugs, but with all of the hype surrounding bed bugs at the moment it makes me wonder if I am at risk for contracting these nasty little critters. I mean bed bugs is like the new  mad cow disease or swine flu epidemic. It's  an epidemic that America never knew it had. Five years ago no ever talked about bed bugs. I didn't even know bed bugs existed. Until, all of sudden every time I turned on the news there was another story about bed bugs and the threat they pose to you and your loved ones. Every time, I go near my bed now a days I can't help but wonder if these strange little creatures have made a new home out of my comfy cozy bed.   

     The thought of bed bugs attacking my bed poses so many  questions like: How did I get them? Would I feel them crawling on my skin? Do they bite? Does it hurt? Can I give my bed bugs to other people? Will they mate with each other and make like a super bed bug? What do they eat? Do they live on my left over cookie crumbs? If just by walking by some bed  bug infested bum on the street am I at risk for one jumping ship and  festering itself on my body and later in my bed?  Is there some type of scanner I can make potential suitor's walk through that detects bed bugs? Why do I think I would have suitors lined up to go through a bed bug scanner? Are they expecting payment? There are so many questions and no clear cut answers.

     I mean these news stories are really great  about exposing the truth about the unknown, but what do you do once you are made aware about the unknown? Is life ever the same again? Can I ever go back to a life where I didn't know about bed bugs and their desire to ruin my life? It almost makes we wistful for a time when I didn't know about bed bugs, and didn't worry about the hygiene of every one I met on the street. I think the best thing to come out of this worrisome discovery of bed bugs is the fact that I have taken notice of all of suitor's hygiene, and have become much more selective of the men I allow near my bed. So, thanks bed bugs for making hygiene a priority and giving me higher standards. I appreciate  that. I may never get laid again.

Suggestions!

 

So, here's the deal...I am fresh out of new stuff, and by new stuff I mean TV Shows, music and books, and I need your help. Without your help I may shrivel up and die of boredom. So, this is of vital importance people! In the comments leave your suggestions for your favorite TV, music and books, and I will them check out. I am hoping to get a lot of feedback so please don't be shy.

Book Recomendations

      I haven't done this in a really long time and I am so sorry about that. I completely forgot about book recommendations. I don't know why my weekly book recommendation posts went away, but slowly they have faded into the background over the past year or so. I remember back in the day they were the only reason why I got hits on my site. The bad news is I no longer have my site (you try maintaining the ads, running upkeep and coding... excuse my Chris, but it was a bitch!),but the good news is book recommendations is back, and here to stay until I forget about it again. I don't know if this is bad news or good news, but I am also changing shit up a bit. Oh yeah, I went there Luke! I don't care If you like my new way of doing things or not! Stop emailing me critiques! I love you but that doesn't mean I won't block you!
    So, this is how things are going to go down for now. I am going to give you a list of books I have recently finished and you can decide to take a chance on them or leave them curbside. The choice is yours kemosabe!

1)"Viva La Repartee" By: Dr. Mardy Grothe.- This books makes me want to use half of these quotes as my dying words to various friends and family! I swear if my last words could be recorded as "Your right, Bessie. And your ugly, But tomorrow morning, I will be sober" I would die a very sick and twisted happy person. Churchill was a genius and a drunk and what a lovely combination. I wish I had his ability to be witty and completely wasted all at the same time.

2)"American On Purpose" By: Craig Ferguson.- I love this man! He is absolutely side-splitting funny, witty and blessed with a very sexy Scottish accent. His autobiography is just as humorous as his stand up and written with that same tongue and cheek humor that makes the Late Late Show  downright hilarious. (What I wouldn't give for a sound board at my disposal at any given moment.) This cheeky monkey can tell a story that will make you laugh out loud and groan in frustration all in the span of 5 minutes. This is probably one of the best  autobiography's I have read in a very long time.

3) "Hush, Hush" By: Becca Fitzpatrick.-I really liked this book. I am usually very picky about my supernatural novels, but something about this book stuck out. I love her writing style. She is very descriptive and leaves you  wondering what is going to happen next. And Patch's character doesn't hurt either. He is sexy, mysterious, witty and just a little moody. He is a teenager's dream man. I have just started the second book in this series and I will let you know what I  think. I hope it is just as good as the first.

     Well, that is enough of the recommendations for now. You bloodsuckers have weaseled  two posts out of  me  tonight and I am positively famished. So, this is farewell internet. Until next time...

Bridget's Candy Addition and Blues Brothers

     So, I have a confession to make. I have an addiction to candy. I swear if it has sugar in it and it's extremely bad for you I can't get enough. In the past week, I have eaten a whole bag of twizzlers bites and a half a box of milk duds. I can't stop...I just can't stop eating the candy! I swear I am like a candy eating machine!
     But, that is all about to change I am on a mission...and not a "mission from god" for the penguin. Sadly, my life is nothing like Blues Brothers or even the less funny Blues Brother's 2000. No matter how hard I try. I would gladly give up call center hell to go on some bad-ass mission for the penguin to save the orphanage and drive through malls in my bad-ass ex-police car bluesmobile. If only it were perfectly acceptable to drive down a beach with a megaphone bigger than my car strapped to the roof advertising my upcoming blues-fest. If only my life were a movie.
     But alas it is not, and I really need to stop babbling...what was I even talking about? Oh, yes... missions! And my new mission may not be sent from god, but it is to stop eating so much damn candy. I am cleaning out my supplies of sugary goodness and that is it! No more candy! I suspect this won't last very long. But, it's worth a shot before I end up with diabetes, or at the very least 20lbs heavier.
     So, there you have it Internet I am on a mission for  less sugary goodness, no more pounds added to my waistline and more bad-assery. Wish me luck!

Quick Update

     Why, hello internet! I'm sorry I haven't been around lately. I have been extremely busy. Life has been a little crazy between family emergencies, work and lack of sleep. I have spent a lot of time visiting my grandfather at Hartford Hospital over the past week, so I haven't had a lot of time to update.

     As I write this I am sitting next to my grandfather watching him sleep. He is adorable when he sleeps. I glace up from my IPAD every few moments just to make sure he is ok. It is strange seeing him like this now. So weak and frail from the cancer. I always remember him being so strong and tough. He's still as stubborn as always, but that is the Scottish in him. I like that he is stubborn; it reminds me that after everything he has gone through he is still himself; he is still my grandfather. But, I guess that is what cancer does to you. It breaks you down body and mind. I wouldn't wish that fate on anyone. So, here I sit watching my mom make him dinner, and my aunt fuss the kitchen putting away groceries and joking about old times with my mom. My uncle sits at the dining room table talking to a nurse. And here I sit watching them. Watching them do what they can for him. They do it all out of love for their father. It's strange watching them; wanting to do everything, but not really able to do anything for him. It's sad because we all know that the cancer is terminal, and we would all do anything, and everything to change that fact. I feel like he is on borrowed time; just waiting. Just trying to do whatever we can to make him happy, to bring a smile to his face. I hope that the our efforts help in some way. I know they are small, but I hope that they matter to him, that they bring him some sort of happiness. I write this as I watch my family. It's strange what crosses your mind when you watch, and observe those you love most.

     As I write this I have so many thoughts going through my head it is hard to get them all down. I am exhausted, and I am sure my thoughts are a jumbled mess, and hardly decipherable., but here they are. I warned you all months ago that I was random, and one bad day away from being a hot mess. And I did not lie. This post is your undeniable proof. Well, It's getting late and I still have to help my family before I can go home and sleep. So, this is me saying good night internet! Until next time....

Undeniable Proof:

So, here it is the undeniable proof that I have made good on my many promises of  room cleanliness. Oh, yes! My room has stayed pristine and gorgeous! And to all you hater's and non-believer's this is me saying suck it!!

 Until, next time Internet BOOYAH!

Shopaholic

Hi,my name is Bridget Patricia Wild and I am a shopaholic! Today, i went shopping with my friend Marie and I spent over $500! Now, I am sure right about now you are curious about what I felt the need to spend so much money on. Honestly, I have no freaking clue!I bought everything! I bought clothes,books,belts,socks,hair accessories, make up,shoes,sunglasses and even two handbags! I am officially a shopaholic and I think I may need to go on a returning spree if I going to survive my friend kelly's purse party tomorrow. And to make matters worse I discovered the most amazing store ever...charming Charlie! It is full of handbags,accessories,jewelry,clothes and wonder. Everything is grouped by color and everything is simply gorgeous! This store is going to be the death of me with all of it's amazing merchandise. If you live I the west Hartford,CT area you must stop in and check out this store it is simply divine and priced very reasonable. Well it's late and I have to wake up early to make a few returns tomorrow before Kelly's purse party.So, this is goodnight and until next time stay classy internet.

Highlights

     I haven't had a whole lot of time to update this week with my sudden budding social life and all, but I figured I would catch ya'll up on some of the highlights of my humdrum life.

    First and foremost, I would like to proudly announce that since my last post on February 1st,2010 my room has stayed spic and span thanks to the gods of cleaning and motivation. Without their help I am sure I would be spending another lazing Sunday buried under piles of laundry and cleaning products. Instead of you know doing something productive like you know like sleeping and napping the day away.

    So, I think congratulations to me are in order for keeping my room so neat and clean. I am now even accepting monetary gifts made payable to me Bridget Patricia Wild for my continuing efforts toward cleanliness. Make sure to drop those off in the mail postmarked no later than February 14th, Thanks.

    Anyway, enough with the shameful plugs for cash, and on the better things like sex, drugs and rock and roll. Or...work, sleep and more work.

    This week has been especially exciting because once again I wasn't fired (still keeping my fingers crossed though), and I was told that I am doing an excellent job! Ahhhhhh...nothing like a big steaming cup of arrogance to get you going in the morning.

     I know I am always complaining that I hate my job, and that one of these days the stress is going to give me heart attack, or at the very least a mild stroke. But, honestly this week hasn't been too bad. I mean there were still times when I looked at my phone cord and seriously thought about ending it all, but those suicidal tendencies were far less frequent this week. That is definitely an improvement over the last few weeks. So, I am going with it. I figure if I can make it till March without actually strangling myself with my own phone cord then I can survive anything. If I can just make it to March I can get my bonus, cut bait, and get the hell out of the call center first chance I get. I just have to make it until March without going postal on some old bag and I've got it made. Is it March yet?

    Anyway, besides work I have been doing a lot of sleeping. Which is fabulous because there is nothing I love more than sleep...besides you know shopping. I think If someone could invent a way to sleep and shop for shoes at the same time I would be in a permanent coma. A girl can dream can't she? And besides sleeping I have been doing my usual amount of reading.

    Currently, I am in the middle of S.L. Naeole's Black Halo (Book 3 in the Grace Series), and I have not been able to put it down. I read the first two books in the series on Monday and Tuesday, and I am hoping to finish the third tonight if I can manage to stay awake until sunrise. These books are beautifully written. The plots are twisty, the story line is flawless, and I am recommending them to anyone and everyone that loves books. So, there you have it the Bridget Wild seal of approval. Read these books, like them, and make sure to visit the author's page to show her some love. She is great and you should make sure she knows it!

     So, besides sleeping, reading, not writing and making poop jokes I haven't been up to a whole heck of a lot. I wish I had more to share. Usually I have a good shim sighting or grandma knifing to share, but not today. This week has been pretty slow in the randomness. I am going out with the girls Saturday night so I am sure I will have lots of interesting stories to share in my next post. Until next time internet stay classy.

Lazy Sunday

     Ahhhhhhhhh.... Lazy Sunday, a day of relaxation, football and general laziness. Well, not in my house. In my house Sunday is a day of laundry, industrial strength cleaning and grocery shopping. Sunday is also a day of  yoga pants, sweat shirts, and looking like I  just came from a hearty three hour cardio workout at the gym. Even though, I haven't stepped foot in my gym in months. In other words, I look like the homeless version of a hot mess.

     Amongst other things Sunday is  also the day I clean/organize my room. Every Sunday I spend the majority of my day cleaning and re-organizing my room. Every Sunday, I swear to the gods of all that is cleanly that I will keep my room neat, pristine and clean all week. However, come Friday without fail my room looks like a bomb exploded in my closet. Bra's and underwear hanging from very curious places, clothes strewn about in even more curious places and paperwork I  haven't seen since birth  suddenly re-appear on my desk like some unwanted  horrible reminder. It's like the depths of hell have opened up and dropped all of its unwanted shit in my room.  

Every week without  fail I vow to not spend my Sunday cleaning. Well, this Sunday was no exception. I spent the  majority of my Sunday  organizing my closet, folding clothes, organizing files of paperwork I'll never actually need, but I keep anyway because it looks important. The task is daunting and I hate doing it! But, I do love order, organization and being able to find my shit when I need it. Chaos doesn't work for me. I like order, organization, planning, points of reason, and yet I can't seem to make this "organization" that I love so much work when it comes to my own room. It bugs me!

I should be able to implement organization into my daily living, but it is just so damn hard. I plan to amend this immediately. I am committing myself to organization. I am committing myself to order, and I am committing myself to not spending my Sundays cleaning! I will become someone that is neater and more organized. This is going to take some work, but in the end I think I will be much happier in the end. 

So, with my Sundays  now clear and open due to my new dedication to cleanliness look forward to future rant... *cough* I mean posts because I am no longer spending my lazy Sunday cleaning.

Well, I hope my latest rant has not made you think I am completely certifiably insane quite yet, but thank you for reading anyway. Until next time internet stay classy.

P.S. and for your viewing pleasure thanks to Hulu....Lazy Sunday.

 

Cracked.com

     So, last night I was having the best sleep of my life when I was suddenly woken up by what was the worse toothache of my life. It felt like someone was literally taking little tiny needles and stabbing my gums. It was positively awful! So, I did what any normal human being would do. I went down stairs; downed four shots of Irish whiskey, and two shots of Mexico's finest tequila for good measure; rubbed some orajel on my gums, and grabbed my IPAD.

     I love my IPAD more than most people love their children. I don't like children, and I will be the first person to tell you so when your kid won't stop crying because apparently you dropped him in a vat of battery acid, and left him in there too long. Children are like that one friend you have that you hate going out with because they always end up getting completely wasted at 5pm on a Tuesday leaving you to clean up all sorts of unhygienic messes. No thank you! You can keep your vomit stained shirts and shit/pissed stained pants. I'm all good. Now, where was I... Oh, yes my IPAD!

     My IPAD is officially the greatest piece of superior technology I have ever had the privilege of owning. I love my IPAD, and I don't care who knows it! It is great! It is small enough to carry in my purse, user friendly, and ten times smarter than me. If it could only make me dinner and give me foot massages I'd marry it. What's not to love?

     Anyway, last night when I was half in the bag ,and suffering from the worst toothache of my existence I decided to play around with my IPAD, and that is when I came across cracked.com. It is like crack for nerds, and the articles and videos are--excuse my French--fucking hilarious! I first came across cracked.com when I was rummaging around Digg.com for something entertaining. And then jackpot!...I came across an article named "17 images that will ruin your childhood." I remember thinking well, what the hell? What else am I going to do at 3 am? And that is the article that started it all. Three hours later I was half way through an article titled "If Awesome Lunatics Ran Airlines" when I realized crack.com was like crack. It stole 3 hours of my precious sleep, and it was well worth it. I spent 3 hours lost in article after article that made me burst out laughing like some crazed lunatic in the dark of night, but I am not ashamed. Those articles deserved my laughter!

     Anyway, to sum up my evening. I fell asleep, woke up because I was being stabbed by hundreds of tiny germ-sized ninjas with pitchforks, got a little tipsy, and laughed uncontrollably like a crazy person until the wee hours of the morn. All in all it was a great night minus the tooth pain.

      So, in closing I hope my randomness and objection to pint-sized drunk toddlers hasn't soured your opinion of me. I really am quite normal most of the time at least. Until next time...keep it classy internet.


P.S. Check out cracked.com you will love it! Guaranteed!

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes

              Have you ever had an epiphany that required major life changes? Have you ever woken up one day and decided something needs to change or death by sameness may be imminent ? Have you ever been stuck in rut? Well I have!

                I have been so unhappy with the way my life is headed lately. I feel like every day is the same. I wake up, eat breakfast, have a quick panic attack, go to work(at a job that literally makes me want to stab myself in the neck repeatedly with a very dull  butter knife), have another panic attack, eat lunch, go back to work, come home, de-stress, cook dinner, and go to bed (all so I can relive the horror all over again tomorrow). I hate it, and I am determined to change it! Starting with my job.

                 I hate to say it, but I need a new job. It is stressing me out, and I can't take stress, and  I especially cannot take people yelling at me all day. I have never handled stress very well, and I don't plan on finding a way to deal with it, and allowing stress to incorporate itself in to my life. I just can't do it. So, I'm making finding a new job my first order of business.

                 My second order of business is finding more time for writing. I love writing. I wish I could write for a living. I would love to stay at home, and write my novels at my very own desk dressed in my very best comfy pj's where my only problem would be figuring out what story to start writing first. I want that life, I wouldn't say that I would be willing and or prepared to kill for that life, but I may be willing to do just about everything but.

                I need a change, and I know Rome wasn't built in a day, so, I am staring small. Well, somewhat small. Finding a new job that doesn't stress me out in this economy is going to be (please do forgive my Japanese) a bitch-e-oto, but I have drive, and I am up for the challenge.

                As for the increase in writing. I am definitely making that a priority starting right now with this post. Normally, when I think of writing a blog I think of this long horrible daunting task. But, it doesn't have to be and I realize that now. I feel like when I write a blog it has to be structured with a beginning, a  middle, and an end. It takes time, planning and  plotting.  It's horrible, and I don't have time for that shit. I have a job that is trying to kill me via stress.

                I've been thinking about this blog quite a bit recently, and I've decided that I don't need structure, I don't need planning and I sure as hell don't need plotting. I just need a computer with a semi-clean keyboard and a thought. I  have always preferred a stream of consciousness to structure and order. So, this is me saying fuck structure! Fuck order! Fuck censoring myself! And sure as hell fuck tradition! I have never been very traditional and neither has my writing. So, get ready internet for what I can only describe as chaos, and a heck of a lot of randomness. Prepare yourself for the rude, the crude and the uncensored. I have always censored what I wrote so that I didn't come off like I was inept and crazy. But, I am crazy, and I am tired of changing everything so that I don't offend. So, this is me giving fair warning. Be prepared to be offended and definitely be prepared for more blogging.