Cracked.com

     So, last night I was having the best sleep of my life when I was suddenly woken up by what was the worse toothache of my life. It felt like someone was literally taking little tiny needles and stabbing my gums. It was positively awful! So, I did what any normal human being would do. I went down stairs; downed four shots of Irish whiskey, and two shots of Mexico's finest tequila for good measure; rubbed some orajel on my gums, and grabbed my IPAD.

     I love my IPAD more than most people love their children. I don't like children, and I will be the first person to tell you so when your kid won't stop crying because apparently you dropped him in a vat of battery acid, and left him in there too long. Children are like that one friend you have that you hate going out with because they always end up getting completely wasted at 5pm on a Tuesday leaving you to clean up all sorts of unhygienic messes. No thank you! You can keep your vomit stained shirts and shit/pissed stained pants. I'm all good. Now, where was I... Oh, yes my IPAD!

     My IPAD is officially the greatest piece of superior technology I have ever had the privilege of owning. I love my IPAD, and I don't care who knows it! It is great! It is small enough to carry in my purse, user friendly, and ten times smarter than me. If it could only make me dinner and give me foot massages I'd marry it. What's not to love?

     Anyway, last night when I was half in the bag ,and suffering from the worst toothache of my existence I decided to play around with my IPAD, and that is when I came across cracked.com. It is like crack for nerds, and the articles and videos are--excuse my French--fucking hilarious! I first came across cracked.com when I was rummaging around Digg.com for something entertaining. And then jackpot!...I came across an article named "17 images that will ruin your childhood." I remember thinking well, what the hell? What else am I going to do at 3 am? And that is the article that started it all. Three hours later I was half way through an article titled "If Awesome Lunatics Ran Airlines" when I realized crack.com was like crack. It stole 3 hours of my precious sleep, and it was well worth it. I spent 3 hours lost in article after article that made me burst out laughing like some crazed lunatic in the dark of night, but I am not ashamed. Those articles deserved my laughter!

     Anyway, to sum up my evening. I fell asleep, woke up because I was being stabbed by hundreds of tiny germ-sized ninjas with pitchforks, got a little tipsy, and laughed uncontrollably like a crazy person until the wee hours of the morn. All in all it was a great night minus the tooth pain.

      So, in closing I hope my randomness and objection to pint-sized drunk toddlers hasn't soured your opinion of me. I really am quite normal most of the time at least. Until next time...keep it classy internet.


P.S. Check out cracked.com you will love it! Guaranteed!