Quick Update

     Why, hello internet! I'm sorry I haven't been around lately. I have been extremely busy. Life has been a little crazy between family emergencies, work and lack of sleep. I have spent a lot of time visiting my grandfather at Hartford Hospital over the past week, so I haven't had a lot of time to update.

     As I write this I am sitting next to my grandfather watching him sleep. He is adorable when he sleeps. I glace up from my IPAD every few moments just to make sure he is ok. It is strange seeing him like this now. So weak and frail from the cancer. I always remember him being so strong and tough. He's still as stubborn as always, but that is the Scottish in him. I like that he is stubborn; it reminds me that after everything he has gone through he is still himself; he is still my grandfather. But, I guess that is what cancer does to you. It breaks you down body and mind. I wouldn't wish that fate on anyone. So, here I sit watching my mom make him dinner, and my aunt fuss the kitchen putting away groceries and joking about old times with my mom. My uncle sits at the dining room table talking to a nurse. And here I sit watching them. Watching them do what they can for him. They do it all out of love for their father. It's strange watching them; wanting to do everything, but not really able to do anything for him. It's sad because we all know that the cancer is terminal, and we would all do anything, and everything to change that fact. I feel like he is on borrowed time; just waiting. Just trying to do whatever we can to make him happy, to bring a smile to his face. I hope that the our efforts help in some way. I know they are small, but I hope that they matter to him, that they bring him some sort of happiness. I write this as I watch my family. It's strange what crosses your mind when you watch, and observe those you love most.

     As I write this I have so many thoughts going through my head it is hard to get them all down. I am exhausted, and I am sure my thoughts are a jumbled mess, and hardly decipherable., but here they are. I warned you all months ago that I was random, and one bad day away from being a hot mess. And I did not lie. This post is your undeniable proof. Well, It's getting late and I still have to help my family before I can go home and sleep. So, this is me saying good night internet! Until next time....